"Being a mother is not about what you gave up to have a child, but what you've gained from having one." - Sunny Gupta

Years ago I read this poem and I thought I would share it today. I gave it to my mother one year for some occasion I have forgotten now, but I found it very good back then and still good and relevant now.

I can see it in the attic photos, page by page,

our mother-daughter memories,

all the years and all the growing that was ours.

I can feel it in the denim dress,

you made for me at five.

It matched yours beautifully,

So I wore it with a daughter's pride.

I can taste it still, the love you put,

in all the casseroles and cakes,

teaching me that I could cook --

using one part joy and one part patience --

when I was only seven

but thought I must be eight.

I can feel it, from the inside,

as you drove me to softball games -- or was it to ballet?

No matter my performance,

you always found a way to make me feel

that I was more than fine, that I was simply great.

I can hear it, all too quickly, by thirteen,

the sound of all of me --

too cool to love you, too hip to be you,

too busy for your endless chores and lists.

I became so involved with making me,

I was sure you didn't quite exist.

I can recall it, like yesterday,

grounded from my freedom all too often at sixteen,

I fought your structure and your limits

with the energy of the rebel that I'd found.

"I never want to be like you,"

I spoke boldly so you'd know,

but you spoke back softly, with a smile of wiser years,

"It's unavoidable, my daughter,"

but I pretended not to hear.

I can remember it all too well,

at seventeen you held my hand

as heartbreak held me all too fast.

You said,"Remember all the good times,

then let go. Love is worth it,

and I know, someday it will come back."

I can feel the car wheels as they rolled

all so quickly away from home,

But as surely as the college miles were far

the closer to you did I grow --

at first creating lists, then acting with a new enthusiasm

instead of giving up or giving in.

Now, as I look around my house

I chuckle instead of yell.

From the closest, down to every hook,

and shoe pile, to every tidy file --

this house is mine,

but Mum, it really looks like yours!

I can see it all so clearly,

in the mirror, even our hair looks the same.

But even more than all of that,

it's who I have become today.

I can see how deep within myself

there is a loving sigh

as I mimic your compassion

and it gives me quiet pride.

And I feel your dedication, Mum,

to stick to things through until the end.

After all these years, you're more than a role model,

you're an inspiration ... and a friend.

So when I feel myself doing something like you now,

I hold my head quite tall.

With a peaceful smile, I realize,

I've become my mother after all.

~Marguerite Murer

“Not being heard is no reason for silence.” - Victor Hugo

There I was sitting in the theatre, watching the ad's and waiting for the film to start. I was texting back and forth to my husband who was looking after the children. I wasn't paying too much attention, just waiting for the movie to start. Suddenly the cinema was filled with a sound. A sound I know better than any other. The drums, the trumpets, the cymbals. Les Mis had started! I was filled with a mixture of excitement, anticipation but also apprehension. Will it live up to my extremely high expectation? Will it just be ok? Will it ruin the only thing I have loved almost my entire life?

I am happy to say I absolutely loved it. However, in my first screening I saw flaws, problems, singers I found hard to listen to and other things. These weren't major flaws, they by no means ruined the movie for me, but I was a little disappointed. The opening sequence, past the overture left me feeling a bit 'meh'. When I first heard Anne Hathway sing I was kind of like 'What was all the fuss about?'. And it's no secret that I wasn't a big fan of Russell Crowe's performances of his songs (although I thought his acting performance was good.). Nevertheless it was beautiful, visually pleasing, spectacular, raw, emotional and almost everything I have come to expect and love from a performance of Les Miserables.

And so last night I set out with my husband to see it again. He hasn't seen too much Les Miserables, and with a cast of actors I know he likes, I thought that it was the perfect opportunity for him to have a real introduction to my life long passion. What did I think the second time around? I loved it even more. The second time I saw less faults, I actually liked Russell Crowe's performances a little more, I was immersed more fully into this world. So here's my personal in depth review of Les Miserables, the motion picture.

Direction: I thought Tom Hooper did an amazing job. I expected he would do so as I'd seen his previous film "The Kings Speech" and I thought it was a masterpiece. His translation of the musical to film I thought was spot on. It can be tricky to translate from stage to film and get it right, but his additions to the film, the way he changed the order of the songs, the way he used his camera to show such raw emotion in the characters in a way that I have never before seen in any version I have witnessed, was just amazing.

Hugh Jackman: Absolutely brilliant. For me, the stand out performance of Valjean has always been done by Colm Wilkinson, the original Valjean on stage. However I thought Hugh Jackman's performance was spot on. From his first soliloquy where he turned his life around to Who Am I? to Bring Him Home to the Finale, I just thought his performance was amazing. His first performance of his Soliloquy for me was the definitive version of that song.  

Anne Hathway: I would like to state outright that I have never particularly liked Anne Hathway. However, after I saw her performance in The Dark Knight Rises, I warmed ever so slightly to her (like 2 degrees warmer!) and after hearing previous reviews, I went in to Les Mis with an open mind towards her performance. When I first heard her sing in "At The End of the Day" I was kind of like meh! But then her performance was just brilliant. She portrayed Fantine in a way I don't think could have ever been done on stage. I felt that Tom Hooper's direction of Fantine's fall from factory worker to whore and gutter trash was brilliant. And her portrayal of "I dreamed a dream' was just brilliant. The raw emotion of her reaching that point in her life where everything had been taken from her and she would rather die than continue on was just amazing. There was so much emotion when she sang "I had a dream my life would be so different from this hell I'm living."

Russell Crowe: I think I should clarify my original opinion. I did not hate Russell Crowe's performance. I actually thought his acting and portrayal of Jarvert was quite good. It was new and fresh and he did a very good job of playing the straight-laced police officer. My issue was with his performance. Jarvert has 2 major songs  in Les Mis, 'Stars' and his suicide. On my second viewing I actually quite liked 'Stars' and I think Crowe actually has quite a nice pleasant voice. However, even in the second viewing I still had major problems with his suicide. It just didn't sit well with me, I didn't think his performance was powerful or raw enough. It is the lowest point of his life and I didn't think that he portrayed it quite well enough. It was probably partly directorial but for me it was missing something. I have never thought of Jarvert as a bad guy or even as a completely hard hearted man. For me Jarvert is a man who follows God. And for him, there is no middle ground. He is actually one of my favourite characters. I have heard people say "Oh he did a fine job", "Its hard to find someone who can sing and act well.", "You can't be so picky", but when you're directing a movie that is entirely music and that almost falls into the category of "opera", you need fantastic singing performances! For me, Russell Crowe lacked that a little, but I thought his performance was good and overall I thought his singing was adequate. One of my favourite parts of the movie was when he put his medal on a dead Gavroche. Just beautiful! 

Eddie Redmayne: What a revelation! Marius is a character I have always thought was important to the story but I have never considered him a favourite or anything. How amazing for Eddie Redmayne. I knew nothing of him and so had no expectations of his performance, but he was beautiful and brilliant! Empty Chairs at Empty Table's was by far one of the best performances of the movie and like Hugh Jackman's performance at the start, Eddie Redmayne's performance of that song now lives for me as the definitive version! What a beautiful and emotional portrayal of the character Marius!

There were many other characters and actors. Helena Bonham Carter & Sacha Baron Cohen did an excellent job of the seedy and theiving Thenardier's. Daniel Huttlestone was another revelation as the urchin Gavroche, he was excellent! Aaron Tveit was excellent as Enjolras, the leader of the student revolution and Samantha Barks was wonderful as Eponine, portraying her unrequited love for Marius so beautifully. 

Every year the book readers of the world see film adaptations of books they read and I listen over and over as they complain about everything that was missing from the film that wasn't in the book. I thought Les Miserable's was beautiful, raw and about the best interpretation that you could ever have gotten, but I didn't think it was perfect, nor did I expect it to be going in. However, I've devoted some 20 years of my life to Les Miserables, so I think it's ok for me to be a bit critical! But it was amazing, beautiful and raw and I will be at JB Hi-Fi to pick it up on the day that it's released! :D

“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.” - Thomas Merton

For the past few weeks, I have been thinking about how to keep balance in my life as it is something that I have been struggling with. As a mother I have so many responsibilities that I have to do. I have to keep the house clean, make sure my family is fed, do the washing, buy the groceries and make sure we are sticking to our budget. I also need to find some way to entertain the girls through out the day without having them sitting in front of the TV all the time, make sure they are eating healthily, break up screaming matches and comfort a crying daughter who has hurt herself or had something snatched away from her. I also need to be a good wife and make sure my husband is happy and healthy as well finding time when we can spend quality one on one time together. And then on top of all of the things I'm supposed to be doing, I also have to find time for my own spiritual, physical and emotional needs.

This list seems long and endless, and while it is, it probably seems worse than it is when I write it down. But it serves to illustrate my point and that is, that from day to day I have so many things to do, how do I keep the balance between keeping on top of everything and making sure I do those things which are most important. These are some of the things that I have been thinking about over the last few weeks.

1. Isabelle made me very aware of something the other day. She was playing with her blocks and she asked me to come and sit down and play with her. At the time I was doing something so I said something to the effect of "Mummy can't right now sweetheart". And Izzy said to herself (or at least it's what I heard) "Mummy's too busy to play blocks". My heart almost broke into a million pieces. It broke my heart to think of my daughter believing I was too busy to spend time with her. So I immediately sat down with her to build a car and resolved in that very instant that I would never ever be too busy to sit with my children and spend time with them. Never too busy to go outside with my husband and children on his day off. Never too busy to sit and spend quality time with my husband and strengthen our marriage.

My Babies

2. One thing that always seems to get pushed back is my spiritual well being. Too often I should read my scriptures or say my morning or evening prayers and I think, I'll do it later but then later never comes and it's the end of the day and I'm falling in to bed after not doing any of it. I have realised lately, that this isn't what should come later, it's everything else. So I have decided on another resolve that scripture study, prayers and other spiritual matters, come before things which aren't eternally significant.

3. For me, the one thing that has ALWAYS gone to the bottom of my priorities, when it should be near the top is my physical well being. We all know the things we hear everyday, eat right and exercise, but it's kind of just another thing that I have to do. It's easy to say eat right, but as well as healthy food being far more expensive (even more so up here), healthy food often takes more time to prepare and isn't as popular at dinner time. And exercise is the same. I have no time between getting up at 7 and going to bed after 11 to stop and exercise. (I mean, I'm moving all day as it is - I wish it would show on my waste line). So I have resolved (again) that I will take more care of my self so that I can be healthy and active and have the energy to play with and chase after my 2 very active babies!

4. The last thing is that I have decided that sometimes there are some things that just aren't important, and just have to go from your daily life. Watching TV - not important, surfing the internet - not important, having an absolutely spotless house - not important. So I am cutting out those things which don't matter.

So how will I try now to keep the balance? I am cutting out what doesn't matter, realising what can wait and focusing more on what is most important: My family, my health and my eternal wellbeing. That's all. Everything else is secondary and can wait.

"I had rather be [in] my [home] than be emperor of the world." ~ George Washington

So I have decided that my blog is a good outlet for keeping people updated on our life here in Alice. So if you want to know how everything is going then feel free to check up here. Hopefully I'll try and update it once a month or once every couple of months at least, but whatever time allows will have to do. :)

So where to start...I guess at the beginning!

The move to Alice Springs went quite well. Because we were moved here with K-Mart, we were lucky enough to have a moving company come in and pack us up. That was quite an experience! What would usually take me about a month to do, the removalists did in 1 day, and then the next day they came and packed it all up in a container ready for the move. Our cars were also moved up on the back of a semi-trailer.

We arrived in Alice Springs on the 4th August and stayed temporarily at the Quest apartments. The accomodation was lovely and all self contained, but a little cramped with 2 active little ones. We managed to make do with a set of blocks we bought at K-Mart, the local park and a small collection of DVD's. Luckily we managed to find a house quite quickly so our stay was as short as it could be (about 2 weeks all up.)

We have found a house in the Desert Springs area. Desert Springs is the area that surrounds the golf course and is by far, the nicest area in Alice (and I'm not just saying that because I live here!). Before we moved here, we were told by a few people who had lived here before, what area's to avoid and what area's to look in. We applied for 3 houses but this was our first choice and so we are obviously really happy with this. :)

Of course, the move wasn't without its hitches. We are up here not even a week, when K-Mart tell Daniel that he has to return to Adelaide for some training and that he has to leave on the Tuesday and won't be back until the Sunday. How nice of them! Of course our moving day was set for the Wednesday, which left me and the girls spending the first few nights alone in the house and doing unpacking ourselves! It was all ok though, the girls had a great time getting to know the house and I was able to get heaps done and we had a good time.

As for the rest of our time here, things have been going really well. Daniel has settled into his job and is busy putting in place changes that K-Mart are making. It is meaning long, hard hours for him, but he is doing really well and they are really happy with his work. I have settled into home life in Alice really well and have been able to get into a nice routine with the girls. I have also been to the local branch of church most weeks and have settled in well there also. Everyone in the branch is really lovely and I have been able to attend mothers group with some of the girls there and had a good time getting to know them. I don't have a calling yet, but I'm sure that will come in good time. Also you can't hide from your talents as it's already known that I have musical ability. Can't escape these things!!

The girls are both doing well. I am so proud of how they have adapted so well into life here. As most of you know through facebook, they are growing and changing so quickly. Izzy is fully toilet trained now, which has been such a blessing. Thanks to the advice of wonderful friends and family, she is fully out of nappies and has been dry 3 out of the last 4 nights (I take her to the bathroom at 10pm and put her straight back to bed!). She has also given up the dummy completely which has also been completely wonderful. Her vocabulary is picking up so much and she is so great at communicating. Plus she is wonderfully affectionate, always giving kisses and telling us she loves us. Keira is also growing up so fast, she's still unsteady on her feet but is walking a little more each day. She also loves to make herself heard. Her vocabulary consists mostly of 'mama' and 'dada' but she also says 'piggy' (as in her toes). She is also very vocal in letting me know if she wants something. Gone are the days when I could give something to Izzy but not to Keira!

We have spent a bit of time, exploring the local area also. If your on facebook you would have seen photo's that I'd put up. It is sooo beautiful here. The red rock and sand is amazing. We are surrounded by nature wherever we go. We've seen a few lizards and even one dingo! Not snakes or kangaroos yet, but I'm sure we will cross their path at some point.

I do miss everyone in Adelaide. I miss my long talks and hanging out all the time with Kathryn and I miss seeing the one who is most like me and who inspires me all the time Tracey, and I miss the one who probably understands me most, my brother Adam. Plus I miss my nieces and nephews and seeing mum & dad (cox) every week for dinner and talking with them and seeing them with the girls, and I miss the wonderful and beautiful Kate (and Izzy misses Asha) and I miss mothers group with Karen-Ann (and everyone else!). Plus all my friends who I haven't mentioned, cause I'd be here forever! LOL (Oh also I miss my parent's, but they left before me :P). However, technology is a truly amazing thing and with facebook and skype, no one seems as far away.

In conclusion though, basically life here is very wonderful so far. The move was an experience, but now that we have done it I am so glad we are here. This is truly an incredible part of Australia and I look forward to exploring it more during the time we are here. Our home is lovely and even just in the short month and a half that we have been here, this experience has bought us much closer as a family and Daniel and I much closer as husband and wife. I truly wouldn't want to do this with any other people than the 3 I'm here with!

I'll speak to you all in a month or so with more updates! Everyone stay happy and healthy!! xxoo

“Advertising is the art of making whole lies out of half truths.” - Edgar A. Shoaff

The other day my Father in Law sent me an e-mail with some advertisements in it. They all looked like they were from the 50's era and showed just how much the rules have changed with what is allowed to be advertised and what isn't. Also my husband pointed out that it makes you wonder if in 50 years we'll all look back at what was advertised today and think how wrong it was. Anyway, here are some of the ad's for you to gasp and laugh at!

"More things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of." - Alfred Lord Tennyson

Each night before the girls go to bed we read from our scripture reader, read some stories and then say a prayer together as a family. After that the girls brush their teeth and go to bed. Tonight as I was leaving I's room, she asked "Mummy say prayers?". She wanted to say her own prayers. It was so beautiful that she asked. I haven't gotten to the stage of teaching her to say her own prayers, mostly because I thought she was too young.

So I turned the light back on and went back to her bed and knelt down beside her while she said her prayers. It was so simple and so beautiful.
"Dear  Heav'ly Father, thanks food, bless daddy, thanks watermelon, thanks poppa. Amen."

It was so beautiful I had to smile.

I am so grateful for the power of prayer and that I can get on my knees every day and thank my heavenly father for my bessings. I am also incredibly grateful to have the opportunity to teach that to my own children and that at such a young and tender age, my 2 1/2 year old daughter is already learning to pray for herself. <3

"Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs in my field, since the payment is pure love." - Mildred B. Vermont

So I'm back to do more blogging. It's only been a year and a half!

Today's blog, is of course, inspired by Mother's Day! Today I pay homage to the Mothers in my life who have made me the person I am today and then to my own Children who make me the mother I am.

To the mothers in my mothers group. These women are all truly amazing! We all come from so many different backgrounds. There are so many different parenting styles and so many different ideas and they all do a fantastic job. They truly make me want to be a better mother!

Firstly to my sisters, who constantly inspire me with their devotion to motherhood. They are so dedicated in everything they do. T amazes me with how relaxed she is and how she just takes everything as it comes. She serves others and still manages to complete all the things she needs to do as a mother. I only wish I could be as half as relaxed as she seems to be! K amazes me with her devotion to her son. She shows me that their is so much you can include your children in and how patient you can be. She has so many fantastic ideas for home life and motherhood and always inspires me about the ways I can be a better mother and homemaker. My sisters are amazing mothers.

To my Aunty K. I have watched you so many times over the years, when I stayed at your house and when we have visited and in more recent years when you have lived much closer! You are such a good homemaker and such a good mother. You have raised 2 beautiful daughters so well, and with such devotion that I hope my daughters can one day want to be like yours.

To my Grandmothers. Nanny & Grandma H. & Grandma C. You both raised my parents to be the people they are today! Nanny did it on her own from when my dad was only 4 and she lost her husband. She needed strength and courage and I know she had both. Grandma H. has always been an example to me of righteousness and pioneering. She has always been there as I was growing up and has taught me how I can raise children in righteousness. Grandma C., I have only known for a shorter amount of time, but as I have gotten to know her I have been amazed by how strong she is. She grew up as the oldest of 4 and her father left the family when she was young. She survived the great depression and helped to raise her 3 younger siblings. She is such an example to me, that if you have enough strength you can overcome all odds.

To my mother-in-law D. Well, what can I say but she raised a good son! LOL. She raised 2 good sons actually. Sons who learnt how to be the people they are by watching their mother. They were brought up in a home that was filled with love and beauty. D was devoted, loving and caring, just as she is today with my 2 girls. I'm grateful to have such a good example to follow and to know how I can make my home a place of beauty and love.

Lastly to my own mother. You have raised me from the day I was born. You gave me everything I have and taught me everything I know. You gave me courage, strength and a firm testimony and told me I could always be whatever I wanted to be. You have loved me and cared for me through my best times and my worst times (and their were plenty of those!). I knew that no matter what happened, you were always there no matter what. You raised 4 children, for much of the time on your own and did it with a strength that makes me determined to be the best mother I can be. I am forever grateful to you. I love you mum.

And now to my own children, who are so young and so innocent and yet teach me so much. In the last 2 1/2 years I have learnt what it is like to be physically & mentally exhausted and to have my patience stretched as far as it can go. I have been puked on and pooped on. I have spent nights on uncomfortable couches in hospitals and days wondering how I was going to get to the end of it. Would I change it? Not a chance. Motherhood is the hardest and most rewarding thing I have done. I have a beautiful 2 1/2 yr old Is., who at the moment is so incredibly active and is testing the boundaries of what she can do and is testing me so much on a physical level, but she is also so loving. Sometimes she will just come up to me and say "Kiss Mummy" or "Hug Mummy" and it just brightens my day 100 times. She is smart and bright and just loves to sing and play the piano. My other beautiful 10 month old baby K, is so amazing. I know that she is only 10 months old, but she is sweet and beautiful and has the most amazing smile. She is so different to Is, and I know that growing up they are going to be like chalk and cheese, but that they will compliment each other in the best ways. K, loves to cuddle and loves to be with people. If she finds herself alone, she will always crawl off through the house to find someone to be with her. She always lights up when she sees Is. and just loves to play with her. These 2 beautiful girls have made me the mother and person I am today and have helped me to become the person I have always imagined I want to be.

Anyway, sorry this is so long, but I had a lot to say. And I apologise for any spelling or grammatical errors, but I'm not going back to check it all! LOL.