"Being a mother is not about what you gave up to have a child, but what you've gained from having one." - Sunny Gupta

Years ago I read this poem and I thought I would share it today. I gave it to my mother one year for some occasion I have forgotten now, but I found it very good back then and still good and relevant now.

I can see it in the attic photos, page by page,

our mother-daughter memories,

all the years and all the growing that was ours.

I can feel it in the denim dress,

you made for me at five.

It matched yours beautifully,

So I wore it with a daughter's pride.

I can taste it still, the love you put,

in all the casseroles and cakes,

teaching me that I could cook --

using one part joy and one part patience --

when I was only seven

but thought I must be eight.

I can feel it, from the inside,

as you drove me to softball games -- or was it to ballet?

No matter my performance,

you always found a way to make me feel

that I was more than fine, that I was simply great.

I can hear it, all too quickly, by thirteen,

the sound of all of me --

too cool to love you, too hip to be you,

too busy for your endless chores and lists.

I became so involved with making me,

I was sure you didn't quite exist.

I can recall it, like yesterday,

grounded from my freedom all too often at sixteen,

I fought your structure and your limits

with the energy of the rebel that I'd found.

"I never want to be like you,"

I spoke boldly so you'd know,

but you spoke back softly, with a smile of wiser years,

"It's unavoidable, my daughter,"

but I pretended not to hear.

I can remember it all too well,

at seventeen you held my hand

as heartbreak held me all too fast.

You said,"Remember all the good times,

then let go. Love is worth it,

and I know, someday it will come back."

I can feel the car wheels as they rolled

all so quickly away from home,

But as surely as the college miles were far

the closer to you did I grow --

at first creating lists, then acting with a new enthusiasm

instead of giving up or giving in.

Now, as I look around my house

I chuckle instead of yell.

From the closest, down to every hook,

and shoe pile, to every tidy file --

this house is mine,

but Mum, it really looks like yours!

I can see it all so clearly,

in the mirror, even our hair looks the same.

But even more than all of that,

it's who I have become today.

I can see how deep within myself

there is a loving sigh

as I mimic your compassion

and it gives me quiet pride.

And I feel your dedication, Mum,

to stick to things through until the end.

After all these years, you're more than a role model,

you're an inspiration ... and a friend.

So when I feel myself doing something like you now,

I hold my head quite tall.

With a peaceful smile, I realize,

I've become my mother after all.

~Marguerite Murer

“Not being heard is no reason for silence.” - Victor Hugo

There I was sitting in the theatre, watching the ad's and waiting for the film to start. I was texting back and forth to my husband who was looking after the children. I wasn't paying too much attention, just waiting for the movie to start. Suddenly the cinema was filled with a sound. A sound I know better than any other. The drums, the trumpets, the cymbals. Les Mis had started! I was filled with a mixture of excitement, anticipation but also apprehension. Will it live up to my extremely high expectation? Will it just be ok? Will it ruin the only thing I have loved almost my entire life?

I am happy to say I absolutely loved it. However, in my first screening I saw flaws, problems, singers I found hard to listen to and other things. These weren't major flaws, they by no means ruined the movie for me, but I was a little disappointed. The opening sequence, past the overture left me feeling a bit 'meh'. When I first heard Anne Hathway sing I was kind of like 'What was all the fuss about?'. And it's no secret that I wasn't a big fan of Russell Crowe's performances of his songs (although I thought his acting performance was good.). Nevertheless it was beautiful, visually pleasing, spectacular, raw, emotional and almost everything I have come to expect and love from a performance of Les Miserables.

And so last night I set out with my husband to see it again. He hasn't seen too much Les Miserables, and with a cast of actors I know he likes, I thought that it was the perfect opportunity for him to have a real introduction to my life long passion. What did I think the second time around? I loved it even more. The second time I saw less faults, I actually liked Russell Crowe's performances a little more, I was immersed more fully into this world. So here's my personal in depth review of Les Miserables, the motion picture.

Direction: I thought Tom Hooper did an amazing job. I expected he would do so as I'd seen his previous film "The Kings Speech" and I thought it was a masterpiece. His translation of the musical to film I thought was spot on. It can be tricky to translate from stage to film and get it right, but his additions to the film, the way he changed the order of the songs, the way he used his camera to show such raw emotion in the characters in a way that I have never before seen in any version I have witnessed, was just amazing.

Hugh Jackman: Absolutely brilliant. For me, the stand out performance of Valjean has always been done by Colm Wilkinson, the original Valjean on stage. However I thought Hugh Jackman's performance was spot on. From his first soliloquy where he turned his life around to Who Am I? to Bring Him Home to the Finale, I just thought his performance was amazing. His first performance of his Soliloquy for me was the definitive version of that song.  

Anne Hathway: I would like to state outright that I have never particularly liked Anne Hathway. However, after I saw her performance in The Dark Knight Rises, I warmed ever so slightly to her (like 2 degrees warmer!) and after hearing previous reviews, I went in to Les Mis with an open mind towards her performance. When I first heard her sing in "At The End of the Day" I was kind of like meh! But then her performance was just brilliant. She portrayed Fantine in a way I don't think could have ever been done on stage. I felt that Tom Hooper's direction of Fantine's fall from factory worker to whore and gutter trash was brilliant. And her portrayal of "I dreamed a dream' was just brilliant. The raw emotion of her reaching that point in her life where everything had been taken from her and she would rather die than continue on was just amazing. There was so much emotion when she sang "I had a dream my life would be so different from this hell I'm living."

Russell Crowe: I think I should clarify my original opinion. I did not hate Russell Crowe's performance. I actually thought his acting and portrayal of Jarvert was quite good. It was new and fresh and he did a very good job of playing the straight-laced police officer. My issue was with his performance. Jarvert has 2 major songs  in Les Mis, 'Stars' and his suicide. On my second viewing I actually quite liked 'Stars' and I think Crowe actually has quite a nice pleasant voice. However, even in the second viewing I still had major problems with his suicide. It just didn't sit well with me, I didn't think his performance was powerful or raw enough. It is the lowest point of his life and I didn't think that he portrayed it quite well enough. It was probably partly directorial but for me it was missing something. I have never thought of Jarvert as a bad guy or even as a completely hard hearted man. For me Jarvert is a man who follows God. And for him, there is no middle ground. He is actually one of my favourite characters. I have heard people say "Oh he did a fine job", "Its hard to find someone who can sing and act well.", "You can't be so picky", but when you're directing a movie that is entirely music and that almost falls into the category of "opera", you need fantastic singing performances! For me, Russell Crowe lacked that a little, but I thought his performance was good and overall I thought his singing was adequate. One of my favourite parts of the movie was when he put his medal on a dead Gavroche. Just beautiful! 

Eddie Redmayne: What a revelation! Marius is a character I have always thought was important to the story but I have never considered him a favourite or anything. How amazing for Eddie Redmayne. I knew nothing of him and so had no expectations of his performance, but he was beautiful and brilliant! Empty Chairs at Empty Table's was by far one of the best performances of the movie and like Hugh Jackman's performance at the start, Eddie Redmayne's performance of that song now lives for me as the definitive version! What a beautiful and emotional portrayal of the character Marius!

There were many other characters and actors. Helena Bonham Carter & Sacha Baron Cohen did an excellent job of the seedy and theiving Thenardier's. Daniel Huttlestone was another revelation as the urchin Gavroche, he was excellent! Aaron Tveit was excellent as Enjolras, the leader of the student revolution and Samantha Barks was wonderful as Eponine, portraying her unrequited love for Marius so beautifully. 

Every year the book readers of the world see film adaptations of books they read and I listen over and over as they complain about everything that was missing from the film that wasn't in the book. I thought Les Miserable's was beautiful, raw and about the best interpretation that you could ever have gotten, but I didn't think it was perfect, nor did I expect it to be going in. However, I've devoted some 20 years of my life to Les Miserables, so I think it's ok for me to be a bit critical! But it was amazing, beautiful and raw and I will be at JB Hi-Fi to pick it up on the day that it's released! :D